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A message to civvy women

If your man isn’t on his toes and constantly catching up to different upgraded versions of you per year, then you’re not growing and sensually expanding like you should.

Love doesn’t mean a thing if there is no consistent expansion on your part. Why I say on your part? Because women are relationship navigators and tastemakers (ouch, a few feminist brains have just exploded!)

No matter how long you’ve been with your man, never ever let him get used to the way you look. The way you think. The way you be. Familiarity breeds contempt and predictability breeds boredom.

Some of you, ladies, the version your man has become familiar with is the one you’ve been since you met. You still do your hair the same way, your weekly routine is the same, you still whine about the same petty things, you still cook the same meals, you wear the same clothes, even your underwear is still the same you wore four years ago. Let’s be honest, you probably fuck the same way too.

The state of stagnancy and complacency is discouraged by nature. Nature will always create circumstances that will get you out of your comfort zone. You have to level up so consistently in your relationship, that your man has to get to know you again and again. Otherwise, what’s the point of your relationship exactly, to procreate and nag each other for the rest of your life? 

Truth is, sometimes we get too comfortable in our relationships to a point where we start forgetting about each other’s values and taking each other for granted. We lower our guard on possible threats toward our relationship’s survival. This is where nature will then make us go through something that will shake us up and get us out of our controlled illusion of safety so we can survive the status quo and expand.

Your romantic relationship is supposed to be a container of limitless expansion of your ultimate sensual freedom. That’s why this container must be built sturdily and have no leaks. It must be expendable too. If it’s not expanding, you will start experiencing challenges you could have easily prevented.

Many of you looooooove blaming your men for seeing escorts without considering the fact that sensuality is a long-term game. Your relationship needs constant expansion. Your man’s secret affairs or abuse of escort services may be caused by the natural necessity of life to find fuller and fuller expression. There is a constant need for evolution in our love life too. 

If you’re not constantly evolving in your love life, nature will keep sending you signals like a car that keeps making beeping sound to alert the owner that it’s due for service. However, many of you just keep ignoring the signs. But there comes a time where nature is going to say, no more. She’ll let your man serve you with the divorce papers or a full blown love affair.

There is no man or woman that is cheated on or taken for granted “unfairly”. Life is fair.

I recall Oprah saying “I work on staying awake”. If you don’t work on staying awake, ultimately nature will stop giving you the opportunity to choose the fate of your relationship. It will choose it for you. And it will be too late to change the outcome. 

Don’t come over here crying and whining, saying that you can’t believe your partner cheated on you. You had it coming with your ignorance to your sensuality. And your emotional laziness.

There are many levels to this thing called life. And at each level, nature will make a beeping sound if you’re being too comfortable. Your yesterday’s “wow” is today’s ordinary. Keep evolving.

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